gold[–]nattylight_murica 15 points16 points17 points 1 year ago (0 children)he's manipulating you. (and, more to the point, that my husband isn’t: he’s 5 years older than me. when 15-year-olds have sex they are just opening the door to a lot of feelings and that they are not ready for. gold[–]boredgamelad 104 points105 points106 points 1 year ago (3 children)i admit my own ignorance on the topic from an international perspective; i could only state with certainty that this is definitely illegal in my own country, so i didn't want to give false information. obviously you are much further in life than a 10-year-old, but that's the difference in perspective we're talking about here. the true crime here is that had this young man been convicted of murder, he would have passed the same seven-year background check and nothing further would ever have been said. takes two, one a young lady seeking an older guy or someone in power (either a gold digger or for bragging rights) and a guy to give into the advances. i really only saw him as a cool, older friend who could buy us beers. it's not a question of: "is he being super weird, or does he actually like me? now, will i look to prosecute a man who is talking to my 15-year-old daughter and he’s 10 years older than her? goldload more comments (1 reply)load more comments (9 replies)load more comments (7 replies)load more comments (11 replies)[–]bleatmop 57 points58 points59 points 1 year ago (18 children)my wife has the same birthday as me. takes two, one a young lady seeking an older guy or someone in power (either a gold digger or for bragging rights) and a guy to give into the advances. goldload more comments (20 replies)load more comments (8 replies)[–]sibeliushelp 23 points24 points25 points 1 year ago (0 children)he is consciously grooming you. if the girl is younger, its sometimes also seen as good to date older guys because of mental maturity difference, though that does greatly depend on the people you're talking about. more comments (1 reply)load more comments (11 replies)[–]littlewoolie 286 points287 points288 points 1 year ago (10 children)yes. goldload more comments (4 replies)load more comments (3 replies)load more comments (4 replies)[–]questdragon47 77 points78 points79 points 1 year ago (1 child)so i used to hang out with this guy all the time. to some extent, i don’t mind this sort of progressive advancement, but one of the things i find massively contradictory is that a 14 year old is mature enough in the eyes of the government to have a taxable job outside the home (and can even work full time during the summer), making them a tax-paying member of society, yet from 14 until the day they turn 18, they’re considered not competent enough to make an informed decision about who they have consensual sex with. if a couple of kids are dating in high school in an 18-age state, even if they’ve been dating since 14 and 16, the moment that boy turns 18, he’s a criminal, because now he’s an adult dating a child. it works on mobileposts: 1118joined: 3 apr 2013deimosmasque:hope not since my fiancee was 17 and i was 23 when we started dating. is he being super weird, or does he actually like me? it’s good to discourage 18 year olds from having sexual relations with 16 year olds. an example is the big mess that happened a few years ago when a politician didn’t resist an intern. and i do maintain that a seventeen-year-old girl is able to consent to sex. 'i remember this song from the junior prom' 'i remember this song from an ecstasy binge my sophomore year of college'. goldload more comments (4 replies)[–]juice_box_jones 108 points109 points110 points 1 year ago (2 children)it's creepy. goldload more comments (1 reply)[–]eversist 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (0 children)i think the connection between the std hpv and cervical cancer, and that op might not be vaccinated yet? gold[–]petit_cochon 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (0 children)romeo & juliet was a looooong time ago, and that show is not fucking shakespeare. gold[–]newnavyspouse 52 points53 points54 points 1 year ago* (5 children)good call. sometimes a 19 year old high school senior has a 17 year old girlfriend/boyfriend, and sometimes they make a decision that they are not mentally or emotionally capable of handling. at 15 you shouldn't be full of wisdom and life experience--that comes with, you guessed it, a few more years of life! gold[–]dreadfullypeculiar 48 points49 points50 points 1 year ago (1 child)i've read that the earlier you become sexually active you run a higher risk of contracting cervical cancer. now he's older than you and because of that he has leverage against you, power over you. 20-30 years, the rest of the world will (rightly) look at the whole us the way we currently look at the country folk who live their whole lives in appalachia. they would think "wow, that girl is really awesome, but i should wait a few years before trying anything, because i don't want to go to prison and ruin my life. gold[–]leelluu 1940 points1941 points1942 points 1 year ago (11 children)you're not dumb. just like 18 year oldswho are not in school full-time have to be ‘an adult’ and get it themselves.
we started dating long distance when i was 16 and he was 19. gold[–]jrj84105 79 points80 points81 points 1 year ago (0 children)this is your answer right here. to me this seems to be a very reasonable cut off age for a 23 year old. you compete with those girls in terms of what they have learned over 21-23 years? goldload more comments (3 replies)load more comments (1 reply)[–]beanoftw 37 points38 points39 points 1 year ago (4 children)the fact that he's 23 and you're 15, and the fact that he's initiating this level of a conversation to you, is very disturbing. the significance of each year decreases by multiplying by some factor each year, rather than adding some factor. my husband’s forebears there are also many examples of young women of 16ish marrying men in their mid to late 20s. gold[–]blueballgroup 24 points25 points26 points 1 year ago (0 children)quite honestly, he may already have another girl. and there are lots of 23 year old women who are beautiful and amazing and mature. my brother started dating the woman who is now his wife when she was 16 and he was 23. seems likely to me that this guy sends of alarm signals that you would pick up on in a few years (unfortunately, when you have a little more time and experience with creepy dudes). gold[–]content404 573 points574 points575 points 1 year ago (115 children)standard creepiness rule: don't date under (age/2) + 7. he turned stalkerish, and he went from being super sweet and innocent to super creepy and he told me the truth about all his lies. gold[–]impediment 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (2 children)i started smoking heavily when i was 15. goldload more comments (1 reply)[–]avoidingmaths 9 points10 points11 points 1 year ago (0 children)yeah gal. we generally take the next day and celebrate it for the other person and alternate each year so its ok., one of my brothers unknowingly broke the statutory laws, something his wife discoverred years later when she got a new copy of her birth certificate and found out her parents had forged an earlier year on the copy they’d had to get her into kindergarten earlier. goldload more comments (10 replies)[–]wifichick[🍰] 179 points180 points181 points 1 year ago (18 children)i was 16, he was 24. if i told my mom she would flip and say he's a creep or a pedo. goldload more comments (2 replies)[–]veggietrooper 45 points46 points47 points 1 year ago (0 children)he definitely knows it's inappropriate. because you're not interested in being 12 years old anymore; you're living your 15 year old life. gold[–]only_yost_you_know 158 points159 points160 points 1 year ago (19 children)because younger girls are easier targets. goldload more comments (3 replies)[–]cock_murder 272 points273 points274 points 1 year ago (41 children)uh, it's the leadup to a crime, it constitutes preparatory steps, but it is not a criminal act in and of itself unless he has solicited her for pictures, dirty messages, etc. goldload more comments (1 reply)[–]chopsnz 407 points408 points409 points 1 year ago (60 children)'hanging out' and 'chilling in his car' are sex. i've seen her a few times in the last few years and she looks completely different. goldload more comments (9 replies)[–]princessawesomepants 590 points591 points592 points 1 year ago (2 children)trust me, he knows it's inappropriate. again my dad was 23 when he started dating my 17 year old mum so that may be why it's not a huge deal to me. but these cases, the ones that the letter writer is referring to, are those cases in which a young man, maybe even 20 with a 17 year old girlfriend, becomes a criminal simply for having a 17 year old girlfriend. which is what i found to be kind of weird, because he could be with a lot of women around his age if he wanted to. gold[–]cookiebootz 18 points19 points20 points 1 year ago (0 children)you have nothing to feel stupid about. that’s why if she has sex with another seventeen-year-old, it’s not rape. 3 years later she and i wound up at the same state school. gold[–]ynocfyinco 1332 points1333 points1334 points 1 year ago (16 children)if only all rapists gave off rapey vibes. we have been together since 1991, have two kids and the whole nine yards. we ended up dating for two years, and up until my husband was by far the healthiest relationship i managed to get into for a long time after that. for example, a 20 year old could date a 17 year old, but that's kind of weird due to age gap/maturity issues or say a 26 year old can date an 18 year old but again, it's kinda weird socially. Middle school dating advice for parents, year old men want to do things (most) 16 year old girls don't/shouldn't/won't. when a 17 year old boy who has consentual sex with his 15 years old girlfriend is not a criminal, and he is not a rapist. boys and girls grow up all the time to end up dating in adult life in smaller towns, i can think of at least three couples back in my hometown who have that story. she had written a letter to young women, then she would have talked about the dangers of older men, and probably wouldn’t’ve accused them of being temptresses or whatever. gold[–]ben275 133 points134 points135 points 1 year ago (0 children)i like your style. she is a mature, passionate woman trapped in a sixteen year olds body. we had a highly publicized case of a 16-year-old high school student having sex with her 30-year-old teacher. but this is america, and we are talking about 17 year old girls with 19 year old guys.(in another case mentioned, a 15-year old girl is being charged, having circulated photos of herself wearing a training bra when she was 12.’ve seen firsthand some young women trying to see if they can attract an older guy. gold[–]throwawaychicken123[s] 177 points178 points179 points 1 year ago (58 children)we were supposed to smoke together (smoke weed). 23, i remember feeling weird dating 19-year olds, this guy knows exactly what he's doing. i don’t believe i changed that much between 17 and 19. gold[–]apocalypticpotato 47 points48 points49 points 1 year ago (59 children)i doubt you would be grounded at all if you told your parents even if you were there are worse things than being grounded. people who don’t recognize the difference between child-abuse and a 16 year old having sex with an 18 year old, and the politicians who want their votes. but just a couple of years earlier, our relationship would have been a crime.) “children” is almost non-existent, nor is it used as an excuse to make sexual relations between kids above the age of consent (which is 14 to 16 in almost all of europe! might say it's weird in that it's somewhat unusual, but if everyone is a consenting adult, and there's not manipulation or coercion or anything to invalidate that consent, it's not my business. goldload more comments (11 replies)load more comments (2 replies)load more comments (28 replies)[–]mistasmiles 121 points122 points123 points 1 year ago (55 children)meh, there's a difference between pre/post pubescent. gold[–]disenculture 27 points28 points29 points 1 year ago (5 children)let me put it this way:Is it normal for an older male to be "interested" in you, given that you are in your sexual development stage, even if he is 8 years older than you? if they had the same attitudes 5 years earlier, for a guy to give in would be a criminal matter. i was a very mature 16 year old, but also very damaged. the girl was 16, and it was legal in my country, but the age difference was identical. husband of almost 15 years and i started dating when i was 19 and he was 30. some people might feel weird about it being someone who's in uni dating someone who's in highschool, but since they're just into uni it can instead come off as kind of cool to have someone independent with their license to run around and take you places and all that sort of stuff. i’m very thankful my parents were willing to get to know the person and not just react to his age, because i would have missed out on something really good if they had just said no, he’s too old. the states that have a 14 year age of consent recognize this a bit. goldload more comments (10 replies)[–][deleted] 46 points47 points48 points 1 year ago (0 children)i feel like i'm reading a post from my little sister in the past. lot of teenage girls — maybe most of them — would rather date older boys than boys their own age, but not necessarily for the reasons adduced. now, if there’d been some creepy 25 year old… yeah, okay. gold[–]owenleejoeking 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (0 children)just remember that you are far more important than he is. goldload more comments (1 reply)[–]2quik4u2 32 points33 points34 points 1 year ago (1 child)i remember being a 21 year and being hit on by a 15 yr old girl. this 23 year old guy just wants to get something he doesn't deserve, and he picked op because he hopes she doesn't know any better. so a seven year difference when you're in high school puts the guy in or past college; very different life stage. goldload more comments (1 reply)load more comments (2 replies)[–]allyourcritbotthings 424 points425 points426 points 1 year ago (26 children). · 738 comments republican senator gets owned by 16-year-old for gutting planned parenthood184 · 17 comments ohio state rep compares planned parenthood to nazis, then deletes her facebook pagethis is an archived post. 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gold[–]seanbc 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (0 children)"age is just a number.) legally, a 17 year old is not an adult in the us–not when the 17 y/o wants to make their own decisions about sex, alcohol, education, employment, living arrangements, etc. i read about a case in which two 17 year old were having sex, but could not be prosecuted because they were both underage. gold[–]don't panichms_pathicus 64 points65 points66 points 1 year ago (1 child)well, fifty shades portrays an abusive relationship. goldload more comments (20 replies)load more comments (1 reply)[–]hokeydokey8234234 37 points38 points39 points 1 year ago (0 children)you're not stupid, you're just young. it may even be that her mother thinks it is kind of cute that her young daughter can attract an older boy. liked this girl, thought she was gorgeous, but i was only 3 years off and i still didn't think it was right for a college guy to be dating a high school junior or sophomore, (can't remember what she was, point is she was too young). sourceposts: 5joined: 25 dec 2016i just want to say just because it is legal, doesn't make something morally right. and if you ever followed through on it he would assuredly guilt you into silence by saying exactly what you're saying now (that if you told anyone you'd be grounded forever, you'd be responsible for sending him to jail, etc.-year-old says he should get death penalty afer killing texas man! gold[–][deleted] 307 points308 points309 points 1 year ago (73 children)though you get a really kickass double birthday party, right? more comments (1 reply)load more comments (9 replies)[+][deleted] 1 year ago (25 children)[deleted]. goldload more comments (5 replies)[–]i-like-naps 19 points20 points21 points 1 year ago (1 child)almost doing it and actually doing it are two very different things.[–]ben275 829 points830 points831 points 1 year ago (53 children)trying to convince her that my 25th is more important than her 21st. goldload more comments (66 replies)load more comments (4 replies)[–]helloniick 1057 points1058 points1059 points 1 year ago (160 children)yes, absolutely. i don't know if he's creepily fetishizing young girls, he's hoping to find someone naive who he can manipulate, or he's a tool and women his age have enough life experience to see through his shit so he has to go after teenagers to find someone who'll think he's cool (nothing against your seeing-through-shit skills, but i'm sure in 8 years you'll be better at it). you don't have to be strangers with the person you're dating. i hope she learns that if she wants to be in a relationship with this guy then she must make him earn it, either by getting her parents' involved or waiting until she is older. because, like someone said earlier in this thread, at that age, 7 years matters a whole hell of a lot. the older man is the one with the experience and the power to not get involved. more comments (1 reply)[–]badass over herelocalgyro 104 points105 points106 points 1 year ago (10 children)yes, yes it is. while the company had done only a seven (7) year background check, when they discovered he was a sex offender they gave him an ultimatum: quit or be fired. more comments (9 replies)[–]ninjameme 75 points76 points77 points 1 year ago (5 children)show your parents your maturity by telling them the full story truthfully and calmly. high-school drama that happened to you this year is about as interesting to most 23 year old's as a 10 year old's drama is to you- not because it isn't important or serious, but because they have gone through it dozens if not hundreds of times by the time their 23. goldload more comments (4 replies)[–]mightymangotits 76 points77 points78 points 1 year ago (0 children)i hope op considers this. goldload more comments (3 replies)[–]oh-hidanny 146 points147 points148 points 1 year ago (50 children)i am a 25 year old woman and this guy is a creep. this is a guy who is targeting 15 year olds, is a loser, and doesn't care about you. memberposts: 2030joined: 28 aug 2014if the 19 year old is in college and the 17 year old in high school, i can see that raising a few eyebrows where i live. gold[–]kiwifalling 210 points211 points212 points 1 year ago (43 children)super important quote from a book on domestic/partner abuse:"why for example, does a twenty-two-year-old man pursue a sixteen-year-old adolescent? do you think about a 16 year old dating an 18 year old? fortunately, we live longer now, but biologically, we are still wired as if it were the old days. gold[–]acidwashfarts 57 points58 points59 points 1 year ago (1 child)oh my god, you're not dumb. by basically maz kanatahifructosecornfecesa community for 7 yearsmessage the moderatorsmoderatorsbasically maz kanatahifructosecornfeceswaffle ninjahiddentofu💕redtaboodemented_pantshigh horse crusaderlittlemissp◖◧:彡heatherannehail eris! neither can i see how it can be seen as condoning neither rape nor older men taking advantage of younger, vulnerable girls. am 36 now, but i distinctly remember knowing quite a few girls in high school who purposely had sex with older guys, told everyone and then, if their parents found out, cried rape. i've devoted 8years of my life to this miserable man. 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i agree with donna in that the statutory rape laws should be repealed, and that the “real” rape laws should take into account the power that one person holds over another. i have no problem with alcohol laws even knowing that some 18 year olds are more able to drink responsibly than some 21 year olds. we dated for a while and have been married for 4 years now and have two wonderful kids. as the mother of sons, the grandmother of a boy, and the older sister of a guy to whom this could easily have happened (they’ve been married 7 years and 2 kids now, but there was a minute when her dad was quite a threat), i know how easily something totally non-problematic can cause tremendous, lifelong problems for a guy.’re allowed to work certain (non-farm, non-hazardous), taxable jobs from age 14 (federal law), and can work more jobs for longer hours from 16. do note we were already dating nearly two tears before, although we did not attend the same highschool. goldload more comments (20 replies)[–]owenleejoeking 67 points68 points69 points 1 year ago (0 children)end the relationship. gold[–]krhsg 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (0 children)you've gotten a ton of replies, and everyone's pretty much right on point. more comments (1 reply)load more comments (3 replies)load more comments (14 replies)[–]underarmfielder 1665 points1666 points1667 points 1 year ago (313 children)it would be akin to op being romantically interested in a 9-yr old. is a somewhat of an exclusion for those less than 3 years apart.-year-old who was whipped on camera by uncle for facebook gang activity murdered in n. instead to imagine someone in your class hitting on 10-year-olds. gold[–]b u t t sseroton1n 10 points11 points12 points 1 year ago (3 children)so, there is hope after all! gold[–]kerrda 213 points214 points215 points 1 year ago (1 child)i'm a 24 year old male and it is extremely weird, i would stay away. (and i say this as the nervous father of a 16-year-old girl. in mind that we’re talking about an 18 yo boy with a 16-17 (maybe 15) yo girl. when i was 14, i let a 30year-old guy flatter me into giving him head. it’s about 18- or 19-year-old boys having consensual sex with 16- or 17-year-old girls. gold[–]360saturn 26 points27 points28 points 1 year ago (3 children)this description reads a lot like a synopsis of fifty shades. gold[–]joef_3 495 points496 points497 points 1 year ago (4 children)that inexperience is why he isn't going out with women closer to his own age. gold[–]alex3omg 28 points29 points30 points 1 year ago (3 children)sounds like this guy really wants to bang a 15 year old. if i am not wrong girls complete the stage by 16-17, even if they start much earlier. you'd think that friend was a fucking weirdo, and maybe had something wrong with them. confused, we are talking here about 19 year old guys with 17 year old girls in many many many cases. gold[–]apes_driving_cars 9 points10 points11 points 1 year ago (0 children)i'm not trying to be insulting but if a 23 year old is interested in a 15 year old then something is wrong with the 23 year old. hook-ups resulting in marrige at class reunions, yes, but in school… older boys date younger girls. if a 16 year old has the ability to consent to an 18 year old through a years span rule why would it suddenly be not ok if the young man were 20? i tend to see the significance of each year as an exponential graph (with a negative coefficient of x). goldload more comments (2 replies)[–]the_panophobic 60 points61 points62 points 1 year ago (0 children)but there's a big difference between "i don't want my daughter dating" and "i don't want a predator going after my child. gold[–][deleted] 81 points82 points83 points 1 year ago (9 children)this age difference wouldn't matter if he was 29 and you were 22. gold[–]muslinbagger 89 points90 points91 points 1 year ago (14 children)i don't know any math, but i'd give every one here a hand job. any older teen or adult who gets involved with someone of that age is a danger to other children. think it’s absolutely horrifying that a 17,18 or 19-year-old can be considered a “sex offender” for having sex with a 16 year old girl. an age difference of 7 years when one person is 15 is everything. in most stat rape cases, the boy was about as mentally mature as the girl (boys maturing several years after girls). young women start dating, it is so important to have independence.