How to tell your friend you are dating her ex

the guy is gettin closer with me,he has told me he is havin issues with my friend. i wish i could tell you otherwise, but i think you already know this. my friend was in an 8month relationship with the guy, then she broke it off because she had feelings for someone else, but at the same time it was a mutual break up because it wasn’t working 100%. i thought of breaking up with him but i can’t because he trust me too much and i’am his only true friend. they scream and tell you to leave because they can’t believe you mustered up the courage to ruin their life, don’t say i didn’t warn you. love him so much and when they dating l didnt have a crush on him thats why l didnt expert him but l fell inlove. both in college,he was dating my best friend,but i loved him even before they started dating n i told my best friend about it,but she went ahead n hooked up with him behind my back,when i found out i was so hurt coz i felt betrayed. he was also my ex when she dated him…so if she didnt think twice before doing it then why. this guy is not worth the pain that it’ll cause your girlfriend in the end, nor is it worth the value of your friendship! i think you are also hoping to alleviate some guilt you may be feeling about hurting someone you care deeply about. you will learn that eventually and you will later on understand this. i am not sure if initially it was myself acting on feelings of insecurity and loneliness, but none-the less, i feel as though now we are in love. my best friend got to know this girl through a game online. Before risking a friendship, figure out if the relationship is worth the drama that can potentially unfold. i don’t mean to sound harsh but that could have happened that way, and then when the relationship ended you were ready to step right into that role for him. was found in the same condition,and the gurl here was my best friend while the boy is my best best friend…but my feelings kept callin for her n my best best friend didnt truly loved her as i did. i certainly would never ever do that to a friend, mainly because one, it’s wrong on multiple levels, and two, i know how much it hurts to have a close friend betray you like that. my feeling is that she would be very hurt, but at the same time i don't want to pass up a chance to be with someone who could turn out to be the love of my life, you know? our feelings caught like wildfire and are now both rapidly falling for each other. scary facts about sexual assault that you didn’t know.

How to tell your friend you are dating their ex

this should be in the things you should never ever do list, but i think that you know that. it’s been 20 years since this occurred and my ex-best friend’s actions still remind me of the tremendous emotional pain that i had once felt., flings and other things: is dating your friend's ex off limits? you sound like a very strong and brave person who has fought to regain the balance in their life and move. he was still with my best friend when i lost my virginity to him. sometimes things simply don’t work out, and people should let go on their past and accept that they dont own other human beings. good luck because i really think that to keep your friendship intact you are gonna need it. at least think that you owe it to her to tell her the truth face to face. would you even attempt to hang out with someone who hurt your childhood friend if he broke up with her abruptly then she is hurting because she was not expecting it…. they are farrr too many fish in the sea for that! if you think that this is hard on you then think about how he must be feeling too. dont you think you need to share some of that responsibility too for expecting too much and setting yourself up for disappointment? after that i lost my virginity to him and we have been having regular sex for over a year now. An in-person conversation is ideal, but a phone call is the very least you can do — so don’t even think about texting, “Hey BFF, just want to let u know me and ur ex are dating. you could be the forever girl but i don’t think that you are going to know that until you walk away for a while. think that it is nothing but trouble and so now you have the hard decision of whather you are actually going to tell her or let her find out about it. it from me, a woman, who had been once betrayed by a best friend. think you should go for it, but talk it through with your best friends first as you don’t want to risk loosing the friendship. things will change — perhaps not for the worse — but use caution before canoodling in front of the friend. i’m trying to say is that being honest with your friend is the best policy because she will eventually find out.

The seven questions to ask before you even CONSIDER dating your

you are sacrificing a long-lasting friendship for an uncertain future. no one wants their best friend to date their ex. will very likely be devastated and feel betrayed by her best friend and by the man she thought she had a lasting future with. like you i didn’t want to risk losing out on my true love either…the reality of it all is that when i look at it i can’t believe that i would have ever thought about doing anything like this to anyone let alone someone i considered my best friend. in all honesty, why would you even want to be with a guy who’s capable of doing that to one of his ex-girlfriends, a girl that he once cared about and possibly loved? i am just saying there are 2 sides to that story. do you go for it, even though your friend was with him first? never asking constitutes as total betrayal if you break the news to your bestie after already being involved with their former lover. consider how much you can and should trust a man who would break up with someone so abruptly after four years and within two weeks seek solace from her best friend. it was around this time that i fully came out as gay and i began talking to the ex-gf seeking advice on this new world i was now a part of, asking where i could meet gay women and even discussing dates i was going on with different women. there is one exception and by this, i mean there is one way to keep your friendship alive while dating the forbidden fruit that is the ex. on some level you must have known that she would be bothered by it, and you chose not to tell her. we have to sneak around so neither ex finds out and so the kids don’t know and so work doesn’t know. friends are supposed to be there through the break up. am very curious about were you just sitting back and waiting for this to happen, or do you think that it only happened because they broke up? i didnt capitalized on that cuz its only her dat ive truly fell for…i explained to them n now we are happily together n the friendships are still kept. but i can’t stop thinking about that my best friend whould have killed me if i told him about the truth. my friends are really mad at me because they think they broke up because of me. an ex is an ex get over get on with ur life. it is very obvious especially if it was your first time.

Taylor's right: It's totally cool to date your friend's ex | New York Post

i am no longer friends with his ex and he is no longer friends with mine. i hung out with her ex about a year ago ( i couldn’t believe it myself) and became friends. have i ultimately ruined one of my only friendships for someone i won’t even be with? 1: If you want to get to know your pal’s ex better, you have to get your bud’s blessing first. throughout high school, i had soo many girlfriends think that it was okay to pursue my boyfriend. us your juiciest, wildest, weirdest and embarrassingest (it’s a word) hook up stories! i always want to tell my friend, but it never seems like the right time. would bet she is going to think you were fooling around all along…. trust me, dating the guy your best friend just dated is going to ruin your friendship, or at least put a serious strain on it. in: discuss, health, sex & relationships, hooking up, love&sex, relationshipstags: best friend, dating, debate club, friends, friendship. she, or others, may try to make you feel guilty or ashamed of what has happened.: cole, although i would say that there is no “perfect” therapy, i like your emphasis on the importance of finding the therapy. my friend lives out of town which i think is one reason i became somewhat “detached” from her. mutual friends may weigh in on both sides of the issue. i am so glad that there is advice here to watch out for this guy because just remember he has done it to someone else, and there is nothing that says that he won’t do it to you. few years ago, a good friend of mine actually set me up with a guy friend of hers who she used to date. might seem like an unusual source for relationship advice — but Taylor Swift recently dropped a tidbit of her dating philosophy that we all may be able to apply to our own love lives.? i dont see anything wrong in wanting to have a sexual relationship with someone you find attractive irrespective of whether he was the ex of your close friend. however, all you can do now is own your choices and move forward with honesty and integrity. my best friend and her boyfriend broke up a week ago.

Help! I'm in Love with My Best Friend's Ex!

things like i love you babe, i want to spend the rest of my life with you and so on. as soon as i tell her, her life will not be the same. idk, we can’t stop talking and texting and i’m making him dinner tonight. also have the opportunity to use this experience as a chance for some introspection. they’re supposed to bring you ice cream while you cry or kick a soccer ball around when you need to get your frustration out. i have more than enough life experience to know this to be the god’s honest truth.) trying to make their ex jealous or trying to get back at them for breaking their heart or c. people think it’s always the friend who will wig out if you date her ex, but sometimes it’s the ex himself! Consider how serious your friend’s relationship was Maybe your BFF only went on a couple of dates with the guy or gal — so breaking the news might not be that big a deal because, well, their relationship wasn’t that big a deal.! i’m in love with my best friend’s ex!, so imagine your bff just got out of a relationship with a super hot, great guy.. may be more acceptable than ever, but it’s still awkward — so you might need to hold off on parading their ex at every happy hour gathering (as much as you might want to). i think you show wisdom in recognizing how you would feel were the situation reversed.. may be more acceptable than ever, but it’s still awkward — so you might need to hold off on parading their ex at every happy hour gathering (as much as you might want to). they recently got married and he didn’t want to go through with it but i talked him through it thinking we could never be together because i didn’t want to betray my friend. you have another man so stop fussing over the one u lost. i imagine you once thought that you would never choose a guy over a friendship. at some point we started talking on a deeper level and decided to hang out and get to know each other as friends. my friend is okay with me being with the guy (so she says) but for the minute i know she isn’t over it all so we are just going to have to back off. if you care about your friendship enough, you’ll (wo)man up and admit you’re crushing on the person who crushed your friend.

Can I Date My Friend's Ex-Girlfriend?

As the pal dating the ex, you’re the first person responsible for maintaining the friendship — so the burden of breaking the news is on you, and it must be done respectfully. you’ll have to deal with the “sloppy seconds” jokes and live with the fact that you voluntarily broke your friend’s heart even more than it already was.?Mostly, for guys sex is a physical need and when you were pregnant he probably felt his sexual needs werent being met and perhaps he felt neglected. i thought about telling my friend i had been hanging out with her ex, easing the news. if your friend means anything to you, please spare her the years of pain that my best friend could not. i find great comfort knowing i am not the only one who has betrayed my best friend by dating her ex. is it unfortunate that you have fallen for your friend’s ex? the (now ex-)gf told me about the break up because she wanted me to look out for my friend. my best friend ended up sleeping with my fiancé and at the time, i was eight months pregnant with his child. something has to give,Your friend is going to be hurt. course you are going to catch a lot of flack but sometimes the heart wants what the heart wnats and that’s just the way it is. we used to hang out at his place because we knew his younger sister.’s a pretty progressive point of view — and not necessarily one exclusive to celebs who move in a-list social circles. only time will tell if this choice was worth it. decent guy would ever ask out his ex-girlfriend’s girlfriend. you talk to your friend and she’s really ok with you double dipping in her dating pool, then i say it’s fine. In the September issue of Vanity Fair, the pop superstar revealed that she and her girlfriends (whom she famously refers to as her “squad”) sometimes date the same people — and none of them minds. his personality, his position in the defence, the excitement in the stories he told and his physique. it's kind of hard to do when your best friend brings them as their plus one to game night. you follow the unspoken “bro bible” or understood “girl code,” you’re familiar with the basic rule: don’t date your friends' exes.

Love, Flings and Other Things: Is Dating Your Friend's Ex Off Limits

at first sight but we ignored the feelings towards one another and decided to be bestfriend i then. i have also known him forever and we started dating about 2 years after their little thing. one likes a conversation that starts with the question, “what are we? you’ve always had a little crush on him, ever since before they started dating, and now it looks like your chance to actually date him. i came upon this through a google search because i’m wondering if i should reach out to my former best friend with whom i was friends with since birth and until 2013. i know that what i did to my friend is wrong, there is no justification. if you truly believe in that relationship, you should go for it with all your heart, and don’t feel guilty for people who don’t accept your happiness. friends ex just asked me out and he just broke up with her a little while ago and i said yes (i dont really believe in girl code) but i feel guilty and terrible, and i have no clue what to do. he started asking for help because he wants his ex to move on as soon as possible. i'm torn between my own desire for lasting relationship bliss and my desire to preserve the most important friendship in my life. my best friends immediately cut ties with me and tried to turn all of our mutual friends against me. five months later, he dated my another best friend on my squad. those beliefs get put to the test when we are confronted with real-world feelings and experiences. was there a part of you that wanted the break up to happen so that then you might have your chance? it’s a scary position to be in because only time will tell if the choice your making is the right choice. i have fallen in love with my best friend's ex.?Well,i’am seeing this guy who’s been with my friend for two years. one thing led to another and now we are pretty involved with one another.. the time they were dating me and my friend were not this close, she introduced me to him and we got close, later told me its her ex, we are in love now but friendship rule is haunting me alive and don’t know what to do. i’ve only known my friend for over a year but i see themy every day.

Dating Problems: Dating Your Friend's Ex Boyfriend: Girl Code | Gurl

you feel this man could be the love of your life, and you’ve chosen to begin a relationship with him. so, if after date two, you sense your bud isn’t cool with the situation, even though she said she would be, you’ve got to talk to her and figure out what makes the most sense for your friendship. as the pal dating the ex, you’re the first person responsible for maintaining the friendship — so the burden of breaking the news is on you, and it must be done respectfully. an in-person conversation is ideal, but a phone call is the very least you can do — so don’t even think about texting, “hey bff, just want to let u know me and ur ex are dating. let her know you are sorry she is hurting, and allow her to react however she chooses to. he could be the man of your life and sometimes these things happen just like that. i can’t even tell the story it tears me apart . were friends at the same time and remained friends for another year and a half before we went out, and i told her and she said it was okay. Things will change — perhaps not for the worse — but use caution before canoodling in front of the friend. slowly but surely my friend started to treat me less and less like a friend and more like she just didn’t care about our friendship at all. if the friend does have a problem with this, the choice to mess up the squad is completely up to you. it’s been four years and very little contact, here and there on social media, very vague and just friendly like. even if your friend thinks she’ll be fine with the date recycle, once the plan is in action, she might react in a bigger way than she thought she would.” That’s a pretty progressive point of view — and not necessarily one exclusive to celebs who move in A-list social circles. would never date one of my friend’s exes, and i hope that they know better than to never date mine. we'll send you a link to create a new password. just started dating my best friend’s ex, and she is being a right bitch about it. now, follow your heart and be happy with your choice. so just as a happier tale – it doesn’t always mean that because the guy dumped her, that he will dump you.: carol, i’m glad to hear that this article was helpful to you, though i’m sorry to hear about your situation.

It's never OK to date your friend's ex, and this is why | Metro News

him to my bestfriend then they starte dating a month later but he has always been inlove with me and at that time my boyfrnd was his bestfriend . if they say yes, be grateful your friend is willing to go through endless nights of denial and frustration with seeing you two together just so you can have a shot at love. he asked me out and as much as i loved him and wanted him i cut off and we stopped speaking for almost two months and now his back again our feelings are still mutual we literally inlov with each other and both want to make it official should we ? did you ever hear of the phrase, “if they do it with you, they’ll do it to you? i would like to find security in a boyfriend and be able to plan a future with them. they were together and it looked like they had the time of their lifes. my situation isn’t perfect at the moment, i’m not in a relationship with the guy, but me and my friend are still close, and me and him still talk (although not as much). what makes you think that your relationship with him will end any differently than what hers did? unfortunately, some of this will be coming from personal experience. you’ll hate those thoughts of them together, lurking constantly in your head. before risking a friendship, figure out if the relationship is worth the drama that can potentially unfold. so a part of me wants to tell her in the hopes that she would be happy for me, but when i put myself in her shoes hearing this news, i think i'd be devastated. just want to say that the advice you gave was so great. a relationship with your friends ex, to me, should be fun without any seriousness. was hard telling her what was going on, and she immediately stopped speaking to me and we have not talked since that day. if you find you are struggling with feelings of guilt or sadness in the aftermath of your talk with your friend, i encourage you to seek out support from a counseling professional. out of all the billions of people in the world, it just doesn’t make sense to put yourself in such an unnecessarily complicated situation. how is someone supposed to comfort their friend with “you can do better” and it’s “their loss” if they turn around and start dating that very person themselves? i was upset about his apparent hang up until i realized that this super cute guy had more issues than a subscription to mad magazine. i imagine your friend thought their love was the real thing, too.

my ‘boss’ and i are still good friends through it all. my bestfriend and this boy broke up a year ago and recently this boy wanted a second chance, things were really not working for the two of them. “And just because you have the same taste in men, we don’t hold that against each other. she had been in love with at the same time as she were in love with my best friend. every situation is different, but the most important thing to remember is to be considerate of your friend.“the most ****** up joke the universe can play on you is letting you meet the right person at the wrong time”. very similar has happened to me one of my best friends from fifth grade (i’m in high school) was dating one of my close friends and they had just broke up with each other recently and he had started to open up to me and i opened up to him so we started hanging out more and through a text one day said i like you with out thinking i quickly responded i like you to so i want to go out with him but i don’t want to hurt my bffs heart. It doesn’t have to be an “ask” so much as a heads up to let them know your intentions. why fight the urge to date someone you really like just because the two of you have a friend in common? no matter how much you like your friend’s ex, you can always find someone else you like just as much – after all they broke up for a reason. For those emboldened by Swift’s words, here are five ways to date your friend’s ex — without making it totally awkward. always remember: guys will always come & go but friendships can (and often do) last a lifetime!: my sexual abuse started when i was 3 and only ended when i was 12, because my mom was divorcing her husband. out who will break the news to the friend first. you can spend time and mental energy finding all kinds of justifications for your choices, but that’s not going to be helpful, ultimately. you didn’t already like him then this would have never happened.’s right: it’s totally cool to date your friend’s ex. a mutual friend of ours thought that i should have forgiven my duplicitous and conniving girlfriend for what she had done but i simply could not. know how you feel i told her that i like him and she was fine with it she actually encouraged me now she said she wants him back i haven’t even confessed to him but right now i’m just encouraging her to do it while sitting with a broken heart what do i do. then high school came, he started dating my best friend and after a few months, they’ve broked up.

he was much older but he was worth the trouble and my virginity evn though i was a lot younger. so, not being able to forgive her cost me the friendship of our mutual friend. and i think that is the most important part, to think about your feelings her feelings and his. if this whole “off limits” thing was a total news flash to you, be sure to check out the blog next week for a rundown of awkward and strange scenarios that also are off limits. Why fight the urge to date someone you really like just because the two of you have a friend in common? eventually we came to the decision to just be friends for the moment because it is all so complicated, but i love him so much and he really is absolutely perfect for me:(. that might also give you some time to decide which is more important to you, the friend or this guy.” there’s a lot of truth in that statement because if he’ll do that with you, there’s no stopping him from dumping you one day to pursue one of your girlfriends and that will hurt! have a similar situation, i have fallen in love with my neighbours husband who is one of my friends.“it’s almost like the sisterhood has such a higher place on the list of priorities for us,” swift tells the mag. what you can do is honor your long-standing friendship by being honest with her about what is happening, and own the fact you know you have hurt her. my best friend and i have been besties since the fourth grade. fast forward 5 months and the feelingsurrounding are still there with both of us. when confronted by real and conflicting feelings, you chose the potential of a serious romantic relationship over your friendship. it doesn’t have to be an “ask” so much as a heads up to let them know your intentions. probably around the same time, i met my best friend. town, kids are friends, jealous crazy ex’s and have it not effect our careers. he has been my best friend for about 5 years now. might seem like an unusual source for relationship advice — but taylor swift recently dropped a tidbit of her dating philosophy that we all may be able to apply to our own love lives. i dated my very best friends boyfriend even before he became her ex.

How to tell your friend you are dating their ex

of the coolest things you can only do when you’re single. your bff only went on a couple of dates with the guy or gal — so breaking the news might not be that big a deal because, well, their relationship wasn’t that big a deal. no matter who dumped who, it’s a sensitive situation… and your friend is definitely going to be uncomfortable (if not furious) about seeing you with her ex. i think she is one of the most negative, critical person and at school she keeps telling me how i should do things and behave and how to get guys and stuff. other words, don’t bring your beau along to tell your friend.’s amazing that i have experienced the exact same situation except that they were together for ten years and she broke up with him they have 2 children together whom i was the godmother to. the september issue of vanity fair, the pop superstar revealed that she and her girlfriends (whom she famously refers to as her “squad”) sometimes date the same people — and none of them minds. her girlfriend saw the friendship that me and my friend had and would turn to me for advice when my friend would start being destructive (mostly in concerns of her drinking and drug use). secretely, i have been dating him without her knowing and we’ve been extremely intimate. understanding what led you to make the choice, and finding some peace around your decision, will be important for you. but for everyone with your experience there are many with good experiences too. tumblr posts you'll love if you're sad on the inside. is your friend’s ex the last man on earth? i havent told her that we were having sex and that i go to his place regualrly. if my friend asked me to give her my blessing to date my ex-boyfriend i would end up in the precinct. is a complicated situation… i became friends with a guy coworker, both of us married, met his wife and he met my husband and we all became friends. my best friend was never official with the guy and now she has a boyfriend. when i did meet her girlfriend i was so happy for her because her girlfriend was just the right kind of person, male or female, that she should be with. small things you do all the time that actually make you a feminist.. we each have 2 kids, the kids are all friends and we all spend alot of time together.

my best friend was crazy about him but because of the big age difference nothing happened. if you’re willing to date your friend’s ex, then you’re probably not really friend’s with this “friend” of yours. obviously, i learned that a true friend would never do that to another and that’s the truth. 1: if you want to get to know your pal’s ex better, you have to get your bud’s blessing first. you know, we say the most amazing things to eachother. they were about to celebrate their first anniversary when he started falling out of love. those who are dating a friend's ex, you may not see it as weird now. you might be the rebound girl, just there to pick up the broken pieces for a while. dating my frnd ex boyfriend and she doesnt know i couldnt help my self we love each other but he is about to tell her that she preposed me any advise i can get out there please.) some things are just common courtesy and a gesture of respect. star taylor swift recently revealed that she and her girlfriends don't mind if someone else in their "squad" dates one of their exes. don’t see anything wrong with having an intimate relationship with your friends ex. “and just because you have the same taste in men, we don’t hold that against each other. but it will be when you remember your new significant other has kissed your best friend. i didnt tell him that i was a virgin but i guess he knew i was one by how i behaved the first time. at first she will be angry (put yourself in her shoes) and other people will judge you, but she will probably come around realising that you don’t,can’t and will never own people! when you made the choice to start hanging out with your best friend’s ex without telling her, that’s when you made the decision to hide your actions, and possibly your feelings, from her. am in the same situation but we 3 were friends my best friend broke up with him about 7 years back and now she is married before 3 years. she’s a straight girl and she had been friends with and slept with (never dated) a guy i wouldn’t meet until maybe 3 years later, after it ended and she meet her children’s father. this feeling never left me, it was just the chances that are disappearing.

’s what i think i could be wrong but if my best girlfriend from child hood got jilted by her boyfriend rather than running to him with open arms i would be disturbed at the way he broke up with her and i would be showing her some compassion what kind of friend are you. a similar situation but my friend knows her x feelings for me ,she just don’t no about my feelings for him. your case, it is slightly different because you both were still together and he abandoned you when you were pregnant. myers, ms, med, lpc, ncc, is a licensed psychotherapist and former educator specializing in working with families in transition (often due to separation or divorce) as well as individuals seeking support with relationship issues, parenting, depression, anxiety, grief/loss/bereavement, and managing major life changes. friend may have a hard time being around you or seeing the two of you together. i also know that i need to tell her and i am fully aware of how hurt she will be. i am impressed with your ability to assess the situation and give such honest feedback. Figure out who will break the news to the friend first In other words, don’t bring your beau along to tell your friend. same exact thing happened to me when i was in college, and i did lose my best friend but i gained my husband and we have been together for 10 years now. some girls even befriended me in order to get close to my high school sweetheart (who’s now my husband) which i found to be completely repulsive. anyway a few months later he messaged me and straight away i felt bad for replying because my friend is sensitive. “It’s almost like the sisterhood has such a higher place on the list of priorities for us,” Swift tells the mag. i’d try to help the gf understand my friend better and always told my friend about the conversation and showed her any and all messages. do you do if you start to dig your best friend’s significant other? you can’t expect your friend to be happy for you, not right away, at least, and perhaps not ever. Give the friend time, if necessary Dating a friend’s former S. we haven’t heard his side and many women will take your side. we’ve been close friends for the last 5 years since grade 3. i recently came out as gay and i have a friend i have known for a little over 7 years who started exploring being bisexual and met this amazing girl and they began a relationship. we haven’t done a single thing sexually beyond having one kiss.
did tell her about it right away and we talked it over. i think what you are looking for is a way to share this with your friend without losing her friendship. the 2 other comments on here are perfect examples of the fun they are having / had ! i felt guilty and still do from time to time…but like you i have never felt a connection this strong with anyone…so i decided to tell her the truth about my feelings for her ex knowing it would end our friendship of about 20 years. i’ve always felt so bad for the fact that my true love was the reason our friendship couldn’t remain, but on the other hand, i honestly cannot regret that it has given me the best and most honest relationship of my life. just have to say that is a deal breaker for a friendship you broke the girlfriend code you never date your friends ex you just don’t i truly believe you had desires for him while they were together…. even my friend seems okay with it but i know she’s not. it’s been a few months, and suddenly he’s flirting with… you. i gave straight forward advice that never ever bad mouthed my friend. if you care about this friend of yours, even in the slightest bit, you’d dump the guy & tell your friend how much better off she is! because my friend is younger and looks up to me in a very sisterly way she wanted me to meet her. those emboldened by swift’s words, here are five ways to date your friend’s ex — without making it totally awkward. if your guy is really worth waiting for and will wait for you in turn, your friend will eventually move on and gain feelings for someone else! i think that you might not see the consequences of your choice because you didn’t go through a lot of things in your life, difficult things, where the only person that is by you is a friend. club: is it ever okay to date your friend’s ex? If the friend does have a problem with this, the choice to mess up the squad is completely up to you.” Establish the significance of the relationship No one likes a conversation that starts with the question, “What are we? this is not going to be any fun for any of you as far as i can see, but i think that maybe the two of you should take some time apart before getting into something this serious. i honestly didn’t think it would be so terrible, they barely got involved because he wasn’t interested, they went on a handful of dates at most. i am not saying that what you have isn’t real, but might you find yourself in a similar situation four years from now?