on one summer evening, with a picnic dinner spread out on a blanket, greg popped the question—not the marriage question, but the all-important dating question: “where do we stand with each other? now he came back to me (as usual) and says “oh we aren’t dating! be happy and content with your life and the right guy will come along and will only enhance it and make it even better.’s either uninterested or unavailable, and it’s time to move on. we’ve been dating for 2 months already,, sometime i don’t even get to see him the entire week. i no longer feel that if he wants to take me out or not or call me or not, that, even though i’m upset, i can find someone new in a heartbeat. its so obvious that all girls in this situation deserves better, but when your in the situation yourself you realise its so not black and white and its a cycle of blaming yourself for not having more respect, yet confused and unable to leave at the same time. course – happy to respond (though i’m not always able to). we spoke the following day about us, he said that he still was “in a different place” than me and wasn’t ready for a relationship or to call me his girlfriend. i come over to see him and we hang out and watch movies and his daughter is there as well. the different thing with him is that every time i bring up us dating he says we’re taking it slow and that he’s not sure of himself. i would only suggest, that you take a few days and nights to be by yourself and think about what you want from life. and you will never be happy with her while your thoughts are elsewhere. we are still going stronger and stronger every day a month down the track from that conversation. everything he does in our dating routine is better than any man has ever treated me, and its amazing. him space was never an objective in my mind,the one and only thing that i was and kind of still worrie about is losing him,i just keep telling myself that he’ll come back., he had also told ne that we were starting fresh and that he did not know he wanted a serious relationship until he met me. i feel almost stupid typing this because everything says leave and people are probably wondering what the hell i am doing still seeing this guy but its so hard to walk away because every time i try, i wonder, what if he really does love me, what if i’m throwing away this because i am selfish and want a label. most of us know, be leary of the man who tries to get you to be his gf before 3 months of seeing eachother. can’t thank you enough for your advice mr eric charles! guys should know that they too are being tested, yes tested for their shallowness and selfishness. and now its been a few days without us msging each other idk whut to do :'(. a good looking girl and take care of myself physically.’ve been single for 6years, my last proper relationship was actually in 2008/2009, but i was titled with some dude in 2010 but we only lasted 3months. note: in more serious matters, about marriage for instance, it is important to find out where the person stands on marriage and if not interested, whether the other person is “not into the institution of marriage” or just “not into the idea of marriage with you” …. am thinking of ending the relationship cos am the kind that likes stability and commitment in a relationship. leaving him after this many months of “seeing eachother” will give you a straight answer finally. friends, i’ve been reading some of your comments and i really like how everyone’s helping each other out. the other person may not be prepared to give a definitive affirmation of undying love and fidelity. i invested all my time into him and gave him alotta love bla bla bla. and we have gone out to public places many times and have been seen as a couple. which actually felt really empowering (not easy for us gals in matters of the heart – but worth practising). i’ve tried bringing it up and when i do he almost makes me feel guilty about it and says things like ‘what we have is so special, why do we have to label it?“i absolutely understand where you are at, i honour your needs, and i wish you all the best on your journey”.? i love him so much to just drop it and yes i tried dating other men but all i can think about is him! we started going out together less and less and he was not inviting me out. and he is just a time catcher til someone better comes along, and the guy of course is not pressured and he totally falls for her and she ends up sleeping around on him or leaving him totally when that someone better shows up and he is devastated and thinks all women are evil, and is afraid to get in a relationship because of the troubles, but he set it up for himself since he is not interested in and does not treat well, the women who were actually into him, so he deserves all the cuckoldery that he gets. perhaps the most important sign that the first six months were a product of ephemeral passion is the lack of discussion about the next six months. two weeks later he dumps me, says he was never into “us”, and i found out that he would not tell anyone we were seeing each other the entire time, which was all in, nearly six months. i tried to just disappear and let him go but he wouldnt stop calling/texting non stop like crazy so we talked about it and agreed we both really like each other and we want to see where it will go but now im back to square one.’m really happy to hear that – and of course, you’re welcome! before i could break things off though, he said that he felt that i was right, that i deserved the respect and treatment from him that the title entails. man, was that a painful and humiliating experience to go through. if i had been intimate with him i would now be the dumb naive woman while he would just move on just like the last one did. then you can look forward to six more months of bliss. if he’s not calling you his girlfriend, i would put myself in the single mentality (and this doesn’t mean you’re sleeping with anyone though). i dated a guy for 6 months, he travel a lots for his work. hearing from the other person for two weeks, having to send the dreaded email that says “i know you are blowing me off” and then the ol’ sorry for the mis-communication (can’t wait to get rid of you) is also implied i am sure. this guy was talking to a bunch of other girls too and i did not like it., and you other women rachelk and living mindfully (and joanna) you are all dating narcissists dtmfa!.yet he always introduce me as his “friend” and his mother addressed me as his “girlfriend” when i met his family. /: sucks to say i gave a part of my heart away and now i feel like i’ve been used. you tell it like it is and you verified my depressed belief. if a girl has fast track plans to getting married, then she should move on because while she is waiting for the guy to commit, someone else could be marrying a commitment friendly guy that she could’ve married. he had to cancel alot recently and the last time he cancelled on me i said to him basically i felt a bit silly asking him to do stuff all the time so he can contact me when its more convenient for him instead of me pestering him etc., if you don’t like it the way it is, it probably will not change unless he is motivated to change it.. i feel he is in love with me and he’s called me “his girl. we bascially see each other throughout the week and doing everything physical and boyfriend and girlfriend would do for three years. as he would not call me his gf, i was essentially his fwb and if i go back to him, i’ll be demoted to a f*ck buddy..him kissing my hand and looking in my eyes with passion is enough, he even told me we shud get married when he is 27 lol…hes 24 now. you live in the current moment (and not in an imaginary future, trying to bring it about), then you’ll be present with the guy. he claims the only girlfriends he’s ever had, he casually dated for 4 to 6 months and then they made it official.-case scenario: you'll ask him how he feels about the relationship and find out that he's on the same page as you and has just been feeling too nervous to ask.’ve never felt so rejected in my life, and it really really sucks. we ladies can pace ourselves and stay connected to our external world of other activities, boosting self esteem, not being desperate for an answer…. i am retired and moved here to work with him and for the relationship (companionship, friendship, etc. it is natural to begin hot and heavy — the primary feature we find attractive at first is the physical. a guy isn’t willing to call you his girlfriend after six months, dtmfa. the end of the weekend, he was still unsure and so i said it was best if we went our seperate ways. at least those who have had problems know what not to do. he doesn’t want to break up, though, and neither do i, but i can’t help but hear him say he likes me, but not enough for a long-term relationship, which makes no sense to me because he insists that he doesn’t want to break up and really does care about me… help! so go easy on yourself, take the mega mag and doing some weight lifting type exercises which will help calm you down. have been seeing this guy for four month now, and i really like him as hes different from any other guy i’ve been with “the good guy type”, i think he likes me too.. and started to talking to him online from 1 month… even he didnt recognize me who i am…. just read the “how do men show their love for you” article, and wanted to reiterate that he does all of those things.! i googled on why the exact same situation that girl in the main story was going through what i was going through too and to my suprise what you told her made me open my eyes up a bit.
.guess what when he finds another girl he really wants he can say oh but i never said you’re my gf! it took a lot of willpower to say “no, i can’t do this anymore” but i’m hoping that i *won’t* regret it and that it will save me from being even more hurt in the future. many failed relationships and two failed marriages, i realized that i should be happy to be with a man who makes me happier than i’ve ever been in my life, satisfies my needs and desires, cares about me very much, and whom i enjoy a working, social, and loving relationship with that i never had with all the past ones put together. and although he was sure about his own ardent feelings for gina, he wasn’t quite sure she felt as strongly in return. and sometimes relationships are meant to be steps along the way to the relationship you’re meant to end up in..If we as women today were socialised into knowing that we could have many lovers, no stigma attached, and that in our monthly cycle we actually desire different sizes and shaped male organs then i wonder how many of these discussions where men and women have been placed in a tight box of relating would happen…. i try so hard to be patience and understanding but how long should this go on? and if not, use your god given free will and move on..that he never deleted me and he can prove it to me if we hangout,I said okay fine, we ended up hanging out and i guess he never deleted me . anyway… i am now seeing him again – since last saturday, & its back to our once weekly time together. i was so shocked that he said that as i don’t see him like that at all and never knew how he saw himself. bit old of an a post but i wanted to say, you can always use men like this to your advantage if you’re strong enough emotionally and simply don’t invest more than they invest in you. everything was perfect, it got dull the last 6 months because of me, and you must not have it in you to try to make him understand you know why… because he won’t and will not! i know you care about him, but you seem to be missing some intimacy or maturity in your relationship if you can't talk about whether or not you're a couple. we got ina really big fight last week and ive been ignoring him he kept txting and calling me i ignored then i finally decided to pick up and i told him i am done..have 7 kids between us so are on the other end of the spectrum where the fairy tale is being re written……xx. but you’re past that point and it doesn’t really matter anymore. my experience, the reason i end up not wanting to label things officially or say “i love you” is because it feels like every time things are going great, i’m enjoying being with her and i’m really happy, literally the moment after i make it “official” or say those three words, she changes, suddenly we’re fighting all the time. did not give a shit about the other guy who asked me out because at this point i really like this guy who ive been hanging out with. my friends keep telling me he’s just stringing me along and he’s a player or a jerk but i’m usually really good at reading people and my intuition is telling me he’s none of those things. have been seeing this guy for a couple of months. we always talk about dating but he doesn’t feel “comfortable” enough to date because if he were to leave he doesn’t want us to be together.: guys who won’t call their girl “friend” a girlfriend are exhibiting the same negativity toward relationships etc that we women are urged to not have..and “communication is key” as me and him believe, but it was great that i read this, because now i don’t feel as confused! have been together 3 1/2 mths engaged in amazing honest and mature “relating”. could understand if a man told me flat out he was not interested in a relationship and then i would not do anything but telling me after seems a little shady..the advices u have given and your chapters are vry useful to me. would say focus on being fun and lighthearted and enjoying the relationship for exactly what it is. if more females stood up for themselves and demanded respect, more males would be showing much more decent behavior regardless of how their mothers raised them. too hard for my heart…he said he honours that totally……what has dawned on me is that we are actually doing is still developing depth, trust with one another…. he was basically telling you “i want to date other girls and play the field so if you want to stick around as my fallback option, then you already know what my deal is! see each other regularly although i do keep my distance & not be available at every time he asks. agreed the realtionship couldn’t be change tremendously as what you expect when your boyfriend is just not a guy that you’re looking for but you insist to stick with him and want him to change on some way. we talked and said that we’re gonna be exclusively dating.? it’s happened, i do get asked out and never know what to say. sensitivity, understanding, and proper timing will make the conversation positive and productive. seems to me that he is the one getting all caught up not me. only 7 pieces of clothing you need to update this spring. one day from another friend of mine told me that he has a girl friend. at times i felt like i was just a convenience and i work out for his schedule and he uses me for his company since he pretty much has no life because of his schedule. thus far i have said nothing to him about giving this is a title bc i loved it just as it was. but since then i have been awarded new opportunities here and decided that it was not the right time to go. he did say he could see me as his girlfriend but its been two months and i feel like i could be using my time on somoene who is more about making moves. find someone who meets your needs and never settle for anything less. i went home and back to sleep i woke up withh a bunch of msges from him telling me to come over. perhaps, calm down on the texting if that’s the main way for communication, and try ringing him in a few days, that way each of you will have something new/interesting to talk about instead of being breathing down each other’s neck. all i do is think about the past, when he was into me…and it hurts. he always call me “cute” and “babe” or “baby”, but when people ask if we are together he said, “we are friends. but then he wont answer till the next day now! he enjoyed playing this “question” game, where he would ask me all kinds of questions from stupid things to really deep things, and i got to ask him questions too.. but it’s been a) three years b) long distance… we see each other when we can and face time. pushing for commitment too early could be a bad move, but i think after nine months, you should both be ready to at least discuss it. how you and your partner view your relationship is a natural and necessary part of moving forward—or deciding not to. worst thing that could happen is that he doesn’t give you what you want, and that you can finally open the door to new guys who will..no denial…so that’s happened with me with this man…. is hard either way and i hate the mixed feelings that go with it. i let him know its no biggie to me either way. thing is, until he returned from the long weekend he was acting keen, he introduced me to his mum and dad, he would invite me over and ask me to stay all weekend … then this thursday we was really off-ish. we finally spoke and he told me he regretted his decision and loves my heart and character and just wants to spend time with me. would feel so guilty if i was intimate with a man and then fed him some line. this guy is an english grad student-i’m still undergrad-and we had a mixed undergrad/grad class together this past semester. summer is almost over and how many more times in life are we going to be able to be together? relationships do not come equipped with a nonstop monitoring device like that. looking away, being distant, trying to make out i was the problem not him! he reassured me that he did not want me to see anyone else still, but just wasn’t ready to call me his girlfriend. sorry to make it sound foreboding but after six months, you had better come strong or not at all. was going through the exact same situation as all of you ladies, until i finally told him last week that i couldn’t handle a “casual relationship” anymore.’ve been dating this guy for the past 5 months (we’ve known each other for 3 years but couldn’t do anything because of certain circumstances). i know in two weeks will be “her second year of dying”. it’s okay if a guy really likes you and says something like, “hey if we ever move in together blah blah blah” after a couple of months. so reach for her hand while you're crossing the parking lot—and say a lot without saying a word. mean you could just be a friendly, warm person and enthusiastic to talk to him because you wanna make the conversation interesting but it doesn’t mean u have the intention of getting with them. and bottom line, he is either willing to use his free will to commit or not. well, i told him that maybe we should step back for the weekend, take sometime and figure out if we are right for eachother.. seriously i was holding off on her from calling her my girlfriend for months, she did the right thing. since then, he’s told me that he’s been over-thinking the fact he didn’t want to meet my parents and now he’s worried he’s leading me on as he’s not sure he’s ready for commitment and not sure what will happen in the future.