Dating a prostate cancer survivor
the blunt question you need to ask is, “so does your enlarged prostate affect your ability to have sex, and if so how? cromer, on january 22, 2016 at 11:01 am said:After 3 years with the removal of my husband’s prostate because of cancer he still has no desire, so it seems, to be close to me at all, no hugging, kissing or any other reaction to me. it is common for men with different types of cancer to struggle with their body image; have less desire for sexual intimacy and/or have a change in their ability to achieve or maintain an erection during sexual activity or a change in orgasm or climax. they took an mri and yes he has prostate cancer., on december 31, 2015 at 1:04 pm said:I guess “linda reynolds”‘s comment just underscores how much pressure everyone is under who is touched by prostate cancer. it’s like women are not really considered to be affected by the prostate cancer issues but we are of course! what you both need more than anything else is some really good advice from an expert in male sexual function who also understands the implications of your husband’s diagnosis of prostate cancer. then 2 months later he told me he has prostate problem. at that time he said if it weren’t for our 4 young children, he would rather just die of prostate cancer than risk living with post-surgical incontinence and impotence. prostate cancer can do very strange things to men — and it’s probably not the hormone therapy (or at least not just the hormone therapy) in the case of your husband. i have been privileged to have spoken with a few men who have never even told their wives they had prostate cancer or treatment for it or why they no longer are “interested” in sex. there are all sorts of possible reasons for this, and blaming his long-lost prostate is an easy explanation for a man who has been treated for prostate cancer. the seminal vesicles which produce sperm are usually sacrificed during a prostate removal procedure, and. this is a common situation that men find themselves in after treatment for prostate cancer. i don’t want the doctors to just say “no more drugs” and just wait for him to go back into the cancer spreading again mode.’ve fallen (quite unexpectedly) in love with a dear friend of more than 20 years, who had his prostate removed 3 years ago. this has all been confirmed with a ct scan, a pet scan, and a biopsy of the prostate. attending cancer support group special talks - or those writing in searching for all kinds of support. he came to see me, asking for something to help him have an erection (he had multi-modality treatment for recurrent prostate cancer so options that might help were limited). prostate surgery didn’t take any of those abilities away. so … you aren’t going to get a problem from oral sex — even from a man who has prostate cancer. psychological impact of a diagnosis and treatment for prostate cancer can be emotionally and psycho-socially devastating for many men … and, on top of that, they may not be used to or even able to express themselves well to others about what they are dealing with (and that’s if they can talk about it at all). here we are 6 years after the prostate removal and i am turned down night after night. treatment of sexual dysfunction after a diagnosis of and treatment for prostate cancer depends on many related factors. or he might simply have an enlarged prostate, which is giving him problems with urination.
Dating a breast cancer survivor
some find the support they need through their healthcare team, their partner, friends or fellow survivors. question, of course (to which there may be no good answer) is whether the prostate cancer is actually directly related to your husband’s decision to move in with this other woman or whether it merely seems to have accelerated the decision for some reason. first step is to find out all about the cancer. am so sorry to hear that your husband’s prostate cancer treatment has affected you both in this way., who for some reason or other, were put off testing for this particular cancer, i can only say - rather take no chances!., a clinical stage of t2a or less and/or a psa level of 10 ng/ml or less and/or a gleason score of 6 or less) — which you clearly haven’t — you would still have a very reasonable prostate cancer-specific life expectancy of 15+ years, even if you just started by monitoring the condition (i. experience of prostate cancer can make men do all sorts of odd things … and the one you describe is one of them. you are going through the same sequence of shock, denial, loss, anger, and acceptance as does an actual cancer patient. three months after diagnosis my husband had his prostate removed; i supported whatever decision he made, and we made the decision together. what you are worried about is the idea of prostate cancer being passed from the man to the partner during oral sex, there is no evidence that that is either possible or that it has ever happened (but, to coin a phrase, it might be wise to remember to “never say never”). very funny — but also dead on with all of us with advanced cancers and facing humongous charges for those big pharma “medical drugs” that have the promise of extending our lives. (our) biology is such that the microenvironment isn’t receptive to survival or prostate cancer cells at all. we had been married for 34 years prior to prostate cancer 4 years ago. and after receiving treatment for cancer, men of all ages, with early and advanced diseases, will have concerns and questions about sexuality and sexual activity. i try to offer help to women (and men) who are dealing specifically with problems related to prostate cancer. are currently doing ivf treatments (we started when we found out he had prostate surgery) to have a child but have been unsuccessful so far. i can’t answer all your questions for you because, as i said at the beginning, responses to treatments for prostate cancer are so individual and your husband is relatively young. what my experience has told me is that prostate cancer is over-treated for a host of reasons, but a great deal of that has to do with men simply not wanting to really look at what they are getting into and not listening closely to what they are being told … and sometimes other family members pushing them into treatment that may well be unnecessary. have written about the support that a partner/spouse provides to someone living with cancer—with prostate cancer and for young adults with cancer—and i always include the partner in discussions about treatment choice or sexual difficulties., on march 20, 2016 at 10:22 am said:I have been dating a man for 6 months … since right after he found out he had prostate cancer. the most likely reason for the ed (a low testosterone level) may well not actually be connected to the reason for the prostate cancer. while he was focused on getting rid of the cancer, i was concerned about our relationship — but no one cared about me, i wasn’t their patient!, on march 15, 2015 at 6:38 pm said:My husband had a prostatectomy about 10 days ago. concern with this situation is not only for myself but for the thousands of middle-class prostate cancer patients out there who are neither wealthy enough to pay the retail price of ,500 per month nor poor enough for the company’s stringent and somewhat byzantine procedures in order to qualify for patient assistance. … there are lot of different things that your boyfriend could be going through after treatment for prostate cancer.
Prostate Cancer Survivors
shotly after surgery for prostate cancer, a man may be dealing with “all of the above”. is also an article called “recovering from prostate surgery” on the healthday web site. back in the early 1700s, life expectancy was short, and things like prostate cancer were rare (by comparison with things like cholera, plague, smallpox, and all the problems of childbirth for women). i didn’t know he had had prostate cancer almost 15+ years ago. shrader, on january 18, 2016 at 10:46 am said:What is the medical name and explanation of what my boyfriend is going through after being healed from prostate cancer? since we are basically talking about being injected (sorry to be blunt) with live cancer cells, could there be a risk to a female?, on january 1, 2017 at 6:23 pm said:My husband was diagnosed last year with prostate cancer. with the help of my doctors, i won my battle against cancer. think that to start with you should just forget about “why” he does or doesn’t have what he is telling you is metastatic, stage iv, prostate cancer that has spread to his bones. i did tell my husband that i think the prostate surgery really devastated our relationship and that we should have had some help and counseling a long time ago to help us deal with things. every prostate cancer support group around the country should have a separate wives/partners section. somehow prostate cancer robs too many of us that, leaving such a terrible hole. it seems that after cancer men and women who are not able to either have erections or who are not interested in sex, are willing to do it if a potential partner wants it—or if they assume that a potential partner wants it. most importantly, you don’t have the biological ability to get prostate cancer, just like men don’t have the ability to get ovarian cancer or cervical cancer. think my husband’s expectations of our sex life are unreasonable and i’m not sure he fully appreciates just how much prostate cancer has affected us. us this a common situation for a man who is a prostate cancer survivor?, on october 8, 2016 at 1:36 pm said:It has taken me this long to realize that the prostate cancer surgery was just part of the problem. it’s pretty much impossible for men to get vaginal, ovarian, or cervical cancers for exactly the same reasons (in reverse, so to speak). men with prostate cancer have been having sex (and making love too) with “unprotected” women for at least a few thousand years. if he has the prostatectomy, wouldn’t the removal of the enlarged prostate holding him back from erections now be gone?, on july 21, 2015 at 7:14 pm said:My significant other had his prostate removed., on september 10, 2016 at 6:50 pm said:In 2008 i had my prostate removed.’ve mentioned the prostate cancer as being a main contributor to the difficult issues in our marriage at least three times in therapy. prostate cancer is cruel in many ways — to him and to us. we elect the prostatectomy, are we pretty much guaranteed no sex life?
Men's Guide to Sexuality During & After Cancer Treatment | OncoLink men are from mars anyway … so men who are trying to deal with the psychological and physical issues that affect them after treatment for prostate cancer can sometimes appear to be from parts of mars one wouldn’t even want to think about visiting! as the cancer treatment took a toll on my body, i’m no longer able to function sexually the way i used to. my husband has been battling stage iv metastatic prostate cancer now for 4 years, and has had some setbacks., on january 29, 2017 at 12:19 pm said:I’m a 7-year survivor of stage iv prostate cancer., i think that many of the issues that exist would exist if my husband hadn’t had prostate cancer. of the pros and cons of dry orgasms are also discussed (pretty bluntly) by patients here on the healing well prostate cancer forum. years ago with stage iv metastatic prostate cancer (lymph nodes and pelvic bones involved). are controlled by a complex system of nerves, and the severity of the cancer, and the skill of the medic treating the person, often. i’m going to have my prostate removed because of high-risk cancer. heard it was one of the newer techniques to determine if it is prostate cancer before biopsy. i’m thinking … why does she have to suffer with this cancer crap along with me?. vore, on march 3, 2016 at 1:20 am said:My husband of 18 years had his prostate removed 3 years ago., on june 30, 2016 at 10:36 am said:Is there any special considerations for giving head to a prostate cancer survivor? if you are being treated for an oral cancer, use caution during oral sex. your husband was losing his erectile and sexual capabilities before his radical prostatectomy, there was never really going to be much chance that he would be able to recover them after the surgery. even if your health care providers do not ask about this normal and important aspect of health, you should not hesitate to discuss your feelings or ask questions about the impact of cancer treatments on your sexual health. you for your “shout out” to all the other patients who are dealing with these types of ramification of their later stage prostate cancer … and to their wives, partners, girlfriends, and whoever else may be carrying the burden of helping the patients to have as much of a life is possible under such circumstances. do have a communication problem and it’s a long-standing one, peppered with hurt and guilt — mainly the guilt he feels for the results of the prostate cancer surgery. is one of the sad facts about prostate cancer that all too many couples are either given or gain a false level of hope about the ability to regain a normal level of erectile and sexual function after surgery for prostate cancer. friend is struggling with the implications of his mortality … as well as with the practical necessities of treatment for his prostate cancer. it’s not your husband’s fault that he got prostate cancer. my husband has prostate cancer and 3 years of hormone injections. it possible that your husband will still be alive with no sign of metastatic prostate cancer a decade from now if he has no treatment? lopez-fabrega, on september 26, 2013 at 12:56 pm said:I am an 83-year-old man first diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1996., on august 19, 2016 at 3:02 pm said:Is there any potential issues for performing oral sex with someone diagnosed with prostate cancer?
The Dating Game: Older Patients with Cancer, Survivors Seeking
those that find things more difficult, a mental health provider can help you cope with the physical and emotional trauma cancer brings and determine how to move forward, whether with a partner or looking for one., even if you had been diagnosed with low-risk prostate cancer (i. effects of the adt treatment or other treatments for advanced prostate cancer. it’s not like breast cancer or testicular cancer where a patient may actually be able to “feel” a lump her- or himself. the "new" prostate cancer infolink news blog on twitter or facebook., on june 17, 2013 at 2:00 pm said:I am, sadly, about to end a 30-year marriage with my husband, who had prostate surgery 15 months ago.. the prostate cancer foundation of australia has support groups all over the country and much can be learned from attending meetings. but it is clearly a very real problem for many men with prostate cancer — and therefore for their wives and partners too. when i met my husband 8 years ago he was cancer-free but 3 months later he needed surgery for the implant or pump. what i was wondering about is why would the doctor leave the prostate and not remove it if it is in the 4th stage like he told me.(2) i’m also angry that there is a lot of discussion in the news about diagnosing/treating prostate cancer, but so little about the quality of lives of the men and their partners after they are treated. would seem to me that any therapist with half a clue could put themselves in my shoes and think about how they would feel at 24 years old, facing going through prostate cancer with a fiance. you received brachytherapy for prostate cancer (seeds), be sure to follow your oncology team's guidance about limiting close physical contact to avoid exposing your partner to radiation. husband was 42 when he was diagnosed with stage ii prostate cancer; his psa was 4. perhaps the tough thing about prostate cancer side effects is that they really can impact a couples’ intimacy – just when you need it the most. has nothing to do with the gentleman’s prostate cancer and everything to do with his perceptions about relationships with women. it is true that there are things about prostate cancer that are going to affect such a relationship, and you and he need to get those out on the table as part of the “getting to know you” experience, just as there would be if you had had breast cancer or some other form of gynecologic cancer. is a series of very fundamental questions that — sooner or later — you and your survivor need to face up to, which include “can he? … by no means do i believe all men have this response to prostate cancer. have written about the support that a partner/spouse provides to someone living with cancer—with prostate cancer and for young adults with cancer—and I always include the partner in discussions about treatment choice or sexual difficulties. 5 minutes he did say, “ya know i’m the one that has cancer”. have no idea how old your husband is, but if he has had ed for 5 years already and he was thinking he was going to have any type of meaningful erection 8 weeks after a radical prostatectomy (with or without any help from you), he is living a very long way from reality and (in my humble opinion) needs some serious professional help. if that scan shows areas of your prostate that are suspicious for cancer, then you would need to have a prostate biopsy (ideally under mri/trus fusion guidance)., on march 26, 2013 at 12:28 am said:My question: why am i so angry at my husband for having prostate cancer and not being able to be intimate with me? i tried talking to a prostate cancer charity, but they more or less said “deal with it”, so i do, but very badly.
New dating site focuses on people who can't have sex -
.You don't need to have sex to find love— or at least that's the premise of a new dating site created by a cancer survivor who sought a way to lead a fulfilling romantic life despite being unable to engage in sexual intercourse., on may 15, 2014 at 1:39 pm said:My husband has prostate cancer and is sulking as he has ed. american cancer society's section about sexuality for the man with cancer and the look good. … far too many men (and sometimes far too many of their family members too) don’t do anything like enough homework when they hear the word “cancer. also wanted to add, in reading others’ posts, that some men become very tired during prostate cancer treatment, it’s a side effect of the hormone treatments and radiation. in their forties would be wise to consider having both tests on their birthday every year, if anyone in their family has had prostate cancer. however, it is also possible he would have died of metastatic prostate cancer. on top of that, far too many men with low-risk prostate cancer insist on getting invasive treatment of some type (surgery, radiation therapy, etc. after cancersexuality encompasses much more than sex; it includes the physical, psychological, emotional and social aspects of sex. november 11, 2016 will mark the fourth anniversary since we knew exactly where he was: stage iv metastatic prostate cancer. the urologist said we could consider radiation seeds or prostatectomy and, being a surgeon, he would recommend prostatectomy. therapy for prostate cancer is designed to decrease testosterone levels or prevent your body from using testosterone. however, given where you live your best bet might be to contact the sidney kimmel center for prostate and urologic cancers at the memorial sloan-kettering cancer center in new york city. is not only battling stage iv metastatic cancer, but add in lymphedema, cellulitis, and edema; the beginning stages of dementia coupled with chemo-brain; blood clots in the leg not affected by the lymphedema, etc. diagnosis and treatment of prostate cancer (with and without the use of androgen deprivation therapy or adt, also known as “hormone” therapy) tends to have deep psychological effects on many, many men. of course women can never get prostate cancer because they have no prostate. what i learned from google is that gay men, with their sex behavior, can put a lot of trauma on the prostate and that the prostate cannot take that kind of trauma and this is a reason that prostate cancer has a high rate in gay men. he takes ssris and when we got tests back his testosterone level was 200; that and his prostate is enlarged to 36 grams.” speaking as a prostate cancer survivor, and as an aasect-certified sexuality counselor and intimacy coach, i need to remind fellow survivors and their spouses that it’s up to us to develop a “new normal”. "new" prostate cancer infolink has been developed to become a primary source of accurate, current, and topical information about prostate cancer for patients and their families.(4) what do you think of the oncoblot test to determine if cancer exists, after finding out that one has elevated psa? and because of the nature of prostate cancer, all the associated pain of living like this is commonly played out slowly over time as opposed to the speed with which it can happen for some other cancers. ones that have to live out the effects of cancer which is not treated early. thank you amy for this forum, and thank you rabbi for caring about the lives of those involved with this awful cancer. zika virus and the cancer patient: one more thing to worry about.
Tips for cancer survivors on dating, new relationships - Mayo Clinic
cancer isn’t an infectious disease, and women’s biology is very different from men’s biology in a number of ways. now we do talk about this but in his attempt to also deal with it his way, he jokes a lot and tells people he has cancer so be nice to me, etc. my husband has been battling aggressive prostate cancer now for 2 years. ewen, on november 22, 2016 at 8:34 am said:How can i check my self for prostate cancer? sexual relations after completion of chemotherapy and radiation therapy for anal cancer. my husband, at 59, had a prostatectomy and imrt earlier this year., on december 21, 2016 at 5:36 pm said:I was reading and it said that semen fluids are made in and come from the prostate gland. through much negative publicity, prostate cancer is often linked to incontinence. problem that you describe is not uncommon among men who have had treatment for prostate cancer (particularly surgical treatment). googled this — about why would his prostate cancer grow so fast to be 4th stage now — but 1 year ago i was with him when he had another problem that he could not urinate and the hospital did tests and also did an exam on his prostate and they told him that his prostate was enlarged but that he did not have any cancer. i just want him to fight the cancer and all he cares about is sex.. affection and staying close: not everyone is interested in sex, and prostate cancer generally presents in older men when sex. i did say that i thought that the prostate cancer affected our whole relationship, and that i was too young at the time to understand just what the ramifications of it all were going to be. becky (and caty and others):There is an organization specifically for wives, partners, daughters of prostate cancer patients called “women against prostate cancer“. you can best help him by giving him distractions that take his mind off the cancer and are just “old-fashioned fun. i still have all the same sexual desires i had before cancer.'s "sexuality and reproductive issues" and "facing forward: life after cancer" (includes good information on communicating with your partner). you need to find some way to break this cycle in which (it appears) everyone thinks they have the right to take advantage of you … but to some extent you have collaborated in allowing this to happen (although obviously it is neither your nor your husband’s fault that he has prostate cancer-related ed). key to a good relationship with this man or any other man (with or without prostate cancer) is not going to be, “how can you please him and make him happy? don't need to have sex to find love— or at least that's the premise of a new dating site created by a cancer survivor who sought a way to lead a fulfilling romantic life despite being unable to engage in sexual intercourse. cancer support requires a special kind of understanding, especially for the newly-diagnosed. therapy for prostate cancer can also result in "dry" ejaculation because the prostate and seminal vesicles are damaged and unable to secrete the fluid that makes up ejaculate. best way to treat his cancer depends on how aggressive it is., on september 5, 2013 at 1:49 pm said:What happens if a man doesn’t have sex after prostate cancer? a number of my older patients are single, and their experiences of facing treatment and survivorship alone are profoundly moving.
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, the one that might be a real turn-off for some partners might be the fact that when men have an orgasm during sex after a prostatectomy they are not ejaculating sperm. loss of erectile function after a radical prostatectomy can be completely devastating for most men. prostate cancer and its effects have dominated and hurt an otherwise decent relationship. rumours and apprehension, few seem to know the good news that after prostate surgery a man with even a half erection, and no sperm at. gladden, on march 12, 2017 at 1:14 pm said:My new mate has an enlarged prostate and we will some day have sex. so long as you go on defining yourself in terms of what you can do for your former husband, it is going to be hard to put whatever happened behind you and start a new phase of your life … but that is absolutely what you are going to need to do … and it has nothing to do with your ex-husband’s prostate cancer; that is his problem to manage and overcome, not yours. asked the sitemaster and he tells me that one of the most sophisticated centers for prostate imaging prior to diagnosis is at the national institutes of health clinical center at bethesda, md (in the group overseen by dr. too prostate cancer education & support – post-treatment issues – check the "related links" on the right side for more information and the "prostate cancer & intimacy" email list. he learns that he has 4th stage prostate cancer that also was in his bones.’s told me that he had a cancer scare, waiting to find out if he had an aggressive form of prostate cancer. the other place (which is only open to women) is the “ladies only” online discussion forum, where you would be able to communicate with other women who have also had to deal with the frustrations of sexual activity after prostate cancer that can seem more like a “job” to be put up with than an actual pleasure for both parties involved. like most prostate cancer survivors he has complete ed, as well as a significantly lower libido., on december 24, 2013 at 12:27 pm said:My father recently let us know that he has prostate cancer. for other men, having an enlarged prostate can be a real problem for all sorts of reasons, and either the condition or treatment of the condition may have impacted the ability to get an erection or the ability to “perform” sexually or his ability to manage his urinary continence during sex. if those reasons listed above aren’t enough, here’s an eye opener: cancer is an expensive illness and is not fully covered by any insurance., on november 24, 2015 at 3:54 am said:Our situation as of now is meeting with the surgeon that will perform my husband’s robotic prostatectomy. he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and of course feels like it’s just a cruel joke. can take as much as 3 years for some men to regain meaningful erectile and sexual function after a radical prostatectomy, but … if nothing is happening after 2 years in a man of your husband’s age, i would think it was time for you both to go sit down with someone who specializes in penile implant surgery and talk about this option. above applications all seem to assist towards a balanced and positive recovery from prostate cancer - or are guidelines towards living. set the mood- what sparked romance for you and your partner before cancer? the two key factors here are going to be: (a) how to deal with your husband’s prostate cancer (which also depends on how aggressive his cancer is, and you haven’t mentioned any of that) and (b) what could be done after his prostate cancer treatment to optimize his ed/sexual function? real problem here, however, is not the ed or the cancer. ed weinsberg, edd, on october 22, 2013 at 11:01 pm said:As a prostate cancer survivor and intimacy coach i’ve been deeply moved by the poignant questions of prostate cancer patients and their partners and by your responses to them., responses to the various forms of treatment for prostate cancer are very individual for a whole variety of reasons. the man usually becomes more focused on his health,And especially his penis, when he is diagnosed with prostate cancer.
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44-year-old husband was just diagnosed with early stage prostate cancer. for example, some men can have an enlarged prostate but it may have no real impact at all on their urinary or erectile function or on their sex life. so many of us partners of prostate cancer victims either are living that, or were living that but left. as i assume most men do, we had to have cardiac clearance before the prostatectomy.. the doctors immediately sold him on a robot-assisted laparoscopic prostatectomy. mancini, on may 15, 2014 at 6:00 am said:My husband had prostate surgery 2 years ago. it’s about my husband who no longer has his prostate. it has been so cruel to learn that he has prostate cancer, and is having hormone treatment and then radiotherapy., on january 1, 2016 at 1:49 am said:I have a good friend that had his prostate removed 2 months ago. the other option that is also available to you and which may be appropriate would be the recently approved axumin pet/ct scan (see here for info), which is probably available by now at most competent prostate cancer diagnosis and treatment centers. effects of cancer treatment on sexual activitydifferent cancer treatments can have different effects on your sexual function. i am torturing myself reading online forums, and posts about post-prostatectomy side effects but i just can’t help but feel angry. the impact of prostate cancer treatment on some men is psychologically traumatic. my relatively limited and personal experience, most of the problems related to physical and emotional intimacy associated with prostate cancer (and many other sexually related medical conditions) are the consequence of (a) a failure to communicate and (b) the fact that so many men define their relationships with their partners in terms of their supposed sexual prowess (as opposed to their frequently limited ability to understand that intimacy is first emotional and only secondarily physical). her first message was on july 3 … and yes, her husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer when he was 46 years old. site is called 2date4love and it is intended to instill hope in those who may feel limited — romantically — by factors such as paralysis, invasive surgery, extreme radiation, birth defects, prostate cancer, high blood pressure or diabetes., on january 28, 2017 at 11:35 pm said:My husband had nerve-sparing prostatectomy over 3 years ago and our marriage has never been the same since. look for a therapist with expertise in working with people with cancer and/or sexual and relationship issues. in the real world, this means how you see yourself, how does your partner view you, how do you date after cancer, how do you fulfill your need for sexual relationships after cancer and so much more. t, on october 9, 2016 at 12:31 am said:My name is gladys and my husband has not touched me for 3 years since he had his prostate removed. i think that what your doctor has told you and your husband is that his cancer isn’t progressing quite as fast as it was, and so in the interests of his quality of life it seemed most sensible to stop his treatment for a while. knowing exactly why your “new mate” has an enlarged prostate and how it is affecting or has affected him, it is impossible to give you any specific “does and don’ts”. after cancer treatments but medical procedures are improving all the time and some of these problems may be only temporary. he has decided to have his prostate removed, which, according to my mom, is the best option for him. now i know nothing about this prostate cancer but according to him they have not done anything except run a lot of test while in hospital then released him with a catheter.
i just searched for cure magazine [“combining science with humanity, cure makes cancer understandable” — maybe it wasn’t around when my husband was operated on, maybe he sees it at his doctor’s … i doubt it … but i never heard of it til now], but do oncologists, especially prostate cancer specialists and urologists read this? in particular, we believe she will be able to give suggestions and guidance to the wives, partners, mother, sisters, daughters, nieces, and female friends of prostate cancer patients as those patients go through the difficult processes of diagnosis and treatment for a disease that is emotionally unsettling for most men. you had surgery involving the pelvic area (prostate, testicular and penile cancers, colorectal and anal cancers), you may need to allow extra time for healing before having sex that involves penile stimulation or vaginal or rectal penetration (with penis, toys, vibrators or dilators). i realize that this chemotherapy kills cancer cells, but also the good cells, so a break for the former live good cells could rejuvenate is a good thing, i’ve never really heard of “remission” but not total remission. to add to this he found out that he has prostate cancer., on october 21, 2013 at 2:09 pm said:I’ve been looking for a “site” like this since my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the age of 54, almost 10 years ago., at 56 years of age you are entering the prime age range for signs of benign prostatic hyperplasia or bph — simple, non-cancerous, enlargement of the prostate (the commonest form of prostate disorder observed in males as they age). so here it is 1 year or a little less than a year later, and he goes back in hospital and he says that he has 4th stage prostate cancer that has gone to his bones., on august 30, 2016 at 7:07 pm said:I’m a 6-year survivor of stage iv cancer and had my prostate removed. since one of the effects of treatment for prostate cancer (especially when adt is a part of that treatment) is to suppress all of the normal male sexual capabilities, all too many men respond in the way your husband seems to be responding — by withdrawing into himself and either forgetting or ignoring the fact that he is and can still be there for you as a real partner. however, there is one thing that i can tell you: i do know of couples in whom the man had a penile implant after treatment for prostate cancer for whom this was extremely satisfying for all concerned.” (which i gave in to and did and my cancer came back, hence the radiation) or “why don’t you do more about your problem?"seven tips for dating after a cancer diagnosis" by helen l., on march 26, 2015 at 10:37 am said:My husband had his prostate taken out. i am angry about the cancer and what it’s done to him. i told him i thought the biopsy results, family history, and the complete devastation i would feel if the cancer took him were good enough reasons for surgery but that i knew that it needed to be his choice., on march 16, 2015 at 5:33 am said:My husband had a radical prostatectomy in october of 2012. my husband was diagnosed in 2012 with prostate cancer, had radiation treatment, and is cancer free — but all of the intimacy and ed problems are slowly sapping the energy out of our relationship. we read about various prostate cancer treatments available when he was diagnosed. are a few good prostate cancer support groups and organizations specifically for women, but not many. you are clearly devastated by your sense that sex will never be the same again … and it almost certainly won’t (although at 40 years of age there are certainly men who do recover good sexual function … if they had a good surgeon and if they had a bilateral, nerve-sparing prostatectomy). prostate cancer survivors are unable to get an erection at all., on june 3, 2016 at 12:22 am said:78 years old; prostate cancer; spread in adjoining areas; gleason score 8; bone scan negative; lymph nodes also affected. second, there is a male patient called michael russer who lost all his erectile function after his own radical prostatectomy but who now lectures on sex afterwards. he went and poured himself a big drink and confessed his ed, cancer, and a few other things.
only real “do” that i can therefore give you is that whenever you and your friend are ready to think seriously about sex, you and he need to have a serious conversation about the impact of his enlarged prostate so that everyone’s reasonable expectations can be fully understood and appreciated up front. … while i understand that the sequelae, side effects, and complications of treatment of prostate cancer can come with all sorts of aggravating impact, i no longer have a lot of sympathy with the male depression that seems so common. so absolutely do hear you … and i do so absolutely wish i had a magic wand to wave that could make all your problems and similar ones of so many other spouses and partners of prostate cancer patients simply vanish into the ether. i think i have been feeling like i have to take examples and evidence with me, to make my case, to show the therapist the things he says and does, the difficulties that we both have had to deal with as a couple as a result of the cancer., although you didn’t ask this, the sitemaster tells me to inform you that if you simply have an elevated psa level (of between about 3 and 10 ng/ml) at this time, and you are trying to determine whether a biopsy would be an appropriate next step, the simplest and most accurate current method is to get a 3 tesla (3 t), multiparametric mri scan of the prostate carried out., on october 1, 2016 at 7:13 am said:I have a husband that had prostate cancer. for example, younger men are much more likely to recover good sexual function after any type of treatment than older men, but — without some other form of treatment that is specific to your husband’s ed — treatment for the prostate cancer is almost certainly not going to improve his ed or his sexual function. my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer earlier this year. far as i am aware there is absolutely no possibility whatsoever for you to “catch” the prostate cancer. however, giving testosterone therapy to a man who has been diagnosed with prostate cancer is a very controversial subject (and there are arguments for and against this in specific types of patient but giving testosterone therapy to you husband at the moment is not something anyone would be likely to recommend). my husband was diagnosed, he knew nothing about prostate cancer. after a little homework, the sitemaster tell me that while it is possible that, in time, there might be some data that could tell us whether this test had any value in the diagnosis of prostate cancer, there appears to be absolutely no such data at present, and so he thinks it would be a complete waste of your money. heart goes out to every woman who is dealing with the effects from their partner’s prostate cancer surgery and recovery. don’t get the impression that your problem has anything to do with prostate cancer … but that doesn’t make the problem any better. wives are the forgotten factor in the problem of prostate cancer. his biopsy indicated that of 2/12 cores had cancer, one with 95% cancer. it also said that is also a reason for fast-growing cancer there. none of the issues related to dealing with late-stage prostate cancer are easy. many competent prostate cancer diagnosis and treatment centers in the new york area would now be able to arrange for such an mri scan today, and the follow-up biopsy if needed, including the center at memorial sloan-kettering. knutson, on november 11, 2012 at 1:27 pm said:I am a 62-year-old man recently diagnosed with t3b, high-risk prostate cancer with gleason scores of 9 and 7 who just started external beam radiation targeted to the prostate and the general pelvic region (in case it has escaped the prostate capsule). while others may find more intensive help from a mental health provider, with expertise in working with men with cancer, useful. body's response to cancer treatments took a toll on her romantic relationships, leading her to the concept behind the site:Twelve years ago, i was diagnosed with stage iv cervical cancer. months after our son was born my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the age 49. single, relatively younger man who had opted for prostate surgery, reported that soon after his operation, as well as using a vacuum pump. Amy is the wife of a long-time prostate cancer patient who has agreed to offer her experience in whatever way she may be able to help.
Dating a prostate cancer survivor
treatment for prostate cancer can have a whole host of different and complex side effects that express themselves in different ways in different men. don’t mean to seem disinterested, but your problem isn’t one related to prostate cancer. certainly there are women who miss the physical aspects of sex terribly when their husband gets something like prostate cancer. but because he has had prostate cancer in the past, it would be important to discuss this with his urologist. mathews, on may 31, 2015 at 9:15 pm said:I have been dating a man for 2 years that’s had prostate cancer. if you are going to react like this to what is arguably “good” medical news, the key question is going to be, how do you think you will react if you get something like pancreatic cancer or have a serious heart attack? i am more concerned (besides the cancer itself), that during a time of maybe temporary impotence, for however long it is, that he may not be even affectionate to me. affected: bones and lymph nodes, along with all quadrants of the biopsy positive for cancer — ranging from 75 to 100% (most at 100%)., on december 15, 2015 at 9:46 pm said:I was 54 and my was husband 67 when he had prostrate surgery and had his prostate removed. i regret my husband being alive the past 10 years, instead of, possibly, gone because of raging prostate cancer? dating game: older patients with cancer, survivors seeking supportive partners. because this will depend on a whole bunch of details, including, for example, the precise nature of his cancer; his own personal anatomical details (big prostate or small prostate; narrow hips or wide hips; etc., many, many men and their partners have serious problems with sexual function after surgery for prostate cancer (especially when they are older, and since you are 67 years of age, i assume your husband is of a similar age). age + cancer + treatments and you have these issues according to research i have done along with just a little common sense. there is a detailed discussion of what goes on if you click here to go to the harvard medical school “prostate knowledge” web pages. is my strong impression that two things happen when a urologist gets together with a patient to discuss the outcomes of a radical prostatectomy: (1) the surgeon tends to paint an overly rosy picture of the possibility of recovery of erectile/sexual function and (2) the patients all too often only hear the “rosy” part of the information and just mentally tune out when the doctor tells them that s/he can’t guarantee such recovery of erectile/sexual function. the surgery was too late - the cancer was already. a perth mall, he may have found out too late that he had aggressive prostate cancer. is the wife of a long-time prostate cancer patient who has agreed to offer her experience in whatever way she may be able to help. there’s not enough help out there for the partners of prostate cancer survivors! i suspect he’ll counter it with his own similar statement about how hard he has worked and how hard the prostate cancer has been on him. has seemed to me (for many years now) that disorders like prostate cancer that affect male sexual function have a strong tendency to then accentuate many of the minor problems that normally exist between couples. surgery to remove the prostate, step by step instructions are given about how to make sure that the genital area is given the best chance. — we need more $$$ for the cure of cancer — all cancers. he immediately opted for surgery and the prostate was removed.
, on march 13, 2013 at 11:09 am said:I am currently seeing a man who is going to have his prostate removed. the will to just deal with what happens in life has a lot to do with how other people see us … and a man who lets the complications of localized prostate cancer make him severely depressed and start drinking heavily is hardly going to be a person that most of us would want as a regular acquaintance, let alone a soul-mate. what’s amazing is that her husband had prostate cancer as well and so she’s been through the same things. however, nowhere does she mention that her husband has/had prostate cancer., you are dealing with two quite different problems here: the ed and the prostate cancer., on january 24, 2014 at 12:15 am said:I’m a wife of a 45-year-old who was diagnosed with prostate cancer a year ago. better for men (program to help you cope with how cancer treatment affects your appearance – many know the program for women, but they also have one for men! there is no good reason that i am aware of why someone with low-risk prostate cancer who is on an active monitoring program shouldn’t be able to have a perfectly good erection just because of the prostate cancer. which one is the worst as regards ed and for taking all the cancer away? he told me a couple months ago that he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and that the doctor recommended surgery for his treatment., on may 12, 2016 at 2:08 am said:I had a prostatectomy 18 months ago. because the potential side effects of having surgery for prostate cancer are emotionally devastating for most men, who tend to measure their “maleness” in terms of their perception of their sexual prowess (regardless of how accurate or inaccurate that perception may be). your husband is 50 and was unable to get an erection for the first time only very recently, it seems highly unlikely to me that this is associated solely with the fact that he has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. this is a good resource for all men, not just prostate cancer survivors. when i got home he had made a doctor’s appointment and 2 months after that he was having robotic surgery to remove his prostate. as if in another 5 minutes the cancer would metastasize and it would be our fault for dawdling, and then … the point of no return. we have only been married for 2 years (found out he had prostate cancer right after we were engaged) and now feel like roommates. brinkley, on august 20, 2016 at 1:43 pm said:My partner just told me he has an enlarged prostate., on march 18, 2016 at 1:05 pm said:My dad had bladder cancer. i was supposed to pretend that everything was “just fine”, and of course i was glad the cancer was gone. he did not tell me he had prostate cancer until yesterday. crapps, on july 9, 2015 at 9:21 am said:I just met a man who has prostate cancer, and i really like him. however, if he was capable of having a good erection 5 years ago, his absent prostate may be a part of the problem, but probably not the only part. that is that after your mom and dad are divorced you just tell everyone you meet that your dad can’t “you know what” because of the prostate cancer and he is being a dumb*** because he has convinced himself that no woman will ever want to look at him again. the psychosocial and emotional problems cause by prostate cancer can be so devastating for so many spouses and partners — quite apart from the physical loss of intimacy — that it is hard to put one’s arms around.
my wife walked out when my prostate cancer was diagnosed just under 2 years ago., on april 8, 2016 at 3:35 am said:My husband is a long-term prostate cancer sufferer. i will say is that i don’t think much of what is going on here has to do with your husband’s prostate cancer., on august 5, 2016 at 6:01 pm said:My boyfriend of 2 years has been clean from postate cancer for 6 years. why, because there is nothing that we know of today that can cure a cancer like this. it is almost impossible to predict with any degree of accuracy for a specific individual how a cancer like his might progress over the next decade if he does nothing, but there is an online tool that you and your husband could use together to project his risk levels if he was to do nothing: you can click here to access that tool. thing is, i wish i could take all of this cancer from his body and throw it back to the pits of hell, from which it came. however, what i can tell you with absolute certainty is that the percentage of men who recover their full erectile and sexual function after surgery for prostate cancer (i. … i am struggling to get into my head the best way of explaining the effects of prostate cancer and ed. there is no good reason for any prostate cancer patient to suffer from the types of pain that used to be common. this is still a controversial topic for men who have been treated for prostate cancer, but there is increasing evidence that — for many men who have been successfully treated for prostate cancer — testosterone supplements present no significant risk for return of the cancer, and the testosterone supplements could well help with your husband’s interest in sex. case histories indicate that with more knowledge about prostate cancer and taking the time to focus on and communicate with his. i think finding a good forum, especially one focused on women affected by prostate cancer, would be a fantastic resource for me. he has had prostate cancer for 9 years, now stage 4 but well controlled with drugs. sincerely doubt that any of us prostate patients or survivors who have been through androgen therapy should “forget about a normal sex life. for prostate cancer can also result in "dry" ejaculation because the prostate and seminal vesicles are no longer present and these are responsible for secreting the fluid that makes up ejaculate. does seem very likely to me that the combination of his retirement, the prostate cancer, and the recurrence has driven him to think that if he does want to meet some of those other goals in his life, then he has to go and just do whatever it is he wants to do. have a look at these articles on that site:— this is how many men feel following prostate surgery., on january 12, 2014 at 1:53 am said:My husband had prostate surgery in 2008. i also read that at times though it is in prostate, it can spread. i realize women don’t have prostates for prostate cancer cells to live in, but could it be that a cancer cell is a cancer cell and it’s not a good idea to be injecting them inside your body? bastyr, on may 2, 2016 at 4:25 pm said:My husband had prostate cancer surgery 4 years ago. if he is still having problems with urinary control, then he is still being reminded all the time of the consequences of his cancer and its treatment. other thing that may be relevant here is the size (volume) of your husband’s prostate. feel the medical establishment in this, as in many other situations, felt it “did its job” by diagnosing his cancer and then giving him choices in how to deal with it (cut it out).
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(this is due to the 45 degree head down angle men must be put in for hours on end in order to remove the prostate) … a problem was found, and exactly 5 days before his scheduled surgery he had a cardiac catheterization done. she is “just” a well educated laywoman with very personal experience of prostate cancer and its problems. loss of intimacy like this is far from uncommon after treatment for prostate cancer, but is not always specific to the prostate cancer, and i feel i have to tell you that your husband may be telling you the truth when he says he has lost his sex drive. seven years later, in spite of my husband having prostate issues, i again became happily pregnant with our son.(my husband's mother died of breast cancer which is also a hormone driven type of cancer). the problems that men face when they get treated for prostate cancer often take away that “kiss and make up” aspect of sex. i mean i am sorry for any man who has to deal with the consequences of diagnosis and treatment for prostate cancer, but such a diagnosis and treatment is not a license to behave like something left over from the late stone age that also has access to the internet! the writer met a couple at a prostate cancer conference. it the porn he prefers rather than me and maybe not the prostate at all. i am in great care here in london, ontario at the london regional cancer clinic and know that the treatment is aimed at cure and not management., on november 26, 2016 at 6:36 pm said:My name is charles and i am prostate cancer survivor who also became impotent after the surgery and especially so after i had a recurrence and had radiation. i realize prostate cancer is slow growing, but is there any chance of him not needing surgery in, say, the next 10 years? i am dating a prostate survivor whose divorce is pending. for a strikingly reverse extreme, one can look at this web site someone told me about just the other day … built, apparently, by a couple who feel that his prostate cancer actually revolutionized their intimacy in a very positive way. you asking about what happens if a man is unable to have sexual intercourse after being treated for prostate cancer or are you asking what happens if he is simply unwilling to have or uninterested in having intercourse after prostate cancer? i do understand the person with prostate cancer is the patient and not the spouse, but the depression and other feelings that impact the marriage/relationship should be something they address with the cancer patient. of course, i mean: “breaking bad” about a mild-mannered high school chemistry teacher who learns he has inoperable lung cancer. hill, on october 19, 2016 at 3:16 pm said:My boyfriend had his prostate removed 9 years ago. was able to say that as i see it, the prostate cancer surgery and the results from it are our main issue and the thing that has really caused our problems. you exist online to help the women and partners who are affected by this cancer, nothing more, nothing less; and these are valid and critical conversations. as far as anyone is aware, no case of prostate cancer has ever been identified in a single woman to date!, far too men men and their families really don’t appreciate the high risks for erectile dysfunction associated with “nerve-sparing” surgery for the treatment of prostate cancer … and far too many surgeons are not as blunt as they should be about those risks. husband of 22 years had a radical robotic prostatectomy in april, 2013. if i had known about prostate cancer, i would never have married any man. you read back through some of the other questions above, and my answers to them, you will see that your experience is a recurring problem for the spouses and partners of many men who rush into having surgery as a treatment for prostate cancer.